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More Presidential Candidates

Last week we discussed 4 of the 34 or 35 candidates in the running for the Democratic nomination for the presidency. Since there are now only 575 days left before the next presidential election, I feel we must press on with our research about these intelligent, august and rational American statespersons.

Today we will look at a Texas native son, Randolph W. “Randy” Crow, who moved to Wilmington, North Carolina, in 1984. Although I will present a thumbnail sketch, more information may be obtained from his website, www.randycrow.com. (That’s where I got my stuff.)

First, Mr. Crow has a local connection. Note the quote from his website—“1967 Fall Started attending Sam Houston State University in Huntsville, Texas. I knew I did not like the Vietnam War. It was years later before I figured out Vietnam was a Big George* Omega Agency**, fa$ci$t, zioni$t manipulated War designed to kill our Christian kids, get our kids hooked on drugs, and load the US & the world with crack, heroine, and coke, as this bunch of coward collaborators make war on America, financed with drug money.”

According to the SHSU Alumni Directory, Mr. Crow received a B.B.A. degree from SHSU in 1970. This is the same year that current SHSU president, Gaertner, received his most recent degree from SHSU. Perhaps they were friends. I’ll follow-up on that later.

Crow also has a connection with President George H. W. Bush and Houston. “In the early 1980s Vice President Bush joined me as I was taking a sauna (men's locker room-the Houston Country Club). Why? Was it chance or set up? Did he know I was under surveillance as the possible Returning Christ and wanted to evaluate me first hand? This was twelve years before I even had a clue there was something really strange going on in my life.” (From the website.)

He has more to say about President Bush the 1st and also the 2nd. “Let's prove Big George's New World Order, Little George & the na$i, communi$t, zioni$t$ are the terrori$t$ making war on America & responsible for September 11, 2001.” (From the website.)

Mr. Crow discovered that the FBI was involved in his life. “1988 Found out FBI was investigating me. Went to FBI office and had long 1 1/2 hour talk. Don't have a clue what was on their mind. All I know is I have never been indicted for anything really illegal ever and it has been 13 years since the FBI wrote me a letter stating they were investigating me. The FBI also stated my files are classified.” (From the website.)

Mr. Crow feels the FBI may not be the completely good force it’s cracked up to be. “In my opinion there is a clandestine force, call it an evil cell of the CIA, FBI, DEA, or whatever, and this cell operates with very high tech equipment and can murder and can do all kinds of things… Louie Freeh, exDirector of the FBI, I blamed for much of my clandestine force trouble and a major reason for my living was to see that he, Louie Freeh, was replaced as Director of the FBI.” (From the website)

If you think that some of his statements push the envelope of rationality, Mr. Crow has a rational explanation. “1994 September Had an incredible experience which I think some super powerful force messed with me and I think this Force had some weird blood work done on me or possibly had a computer chip in me… I would hate to guess how much money some clandestine force has spent messing with me but it is outrageous, millions. In my opinion we are talking thousands of people with high, high, tech equipment…” (From the website.)

I personally feel comforted that a Sam Houston State University graduate with such stellar credentials is willing to take on the mantle of responsibility and serve as President of the United States of America no matter how much he has been messed with by the clandestine force.

Last week I talked to the newest candidate in the presidential race, Quella Udel Alford Craincross Krackenknocker from Iowa. Mr. Krackenknocker has a most interesting ethnic and gender background and claims to be well suited to the job of president. I contacted him again this week to find out more about his personal platform for the presidency.

D.R.—“Hello, Mr. Krackenknocker, this is Don Ramon again. I would like to pick up where we left off last in our discussion of your presidential campaign.”
Q.U.A.C.K.—“Hello, Don. I’m always happy to discuss my thoughts on the issues that really matter to everyday citizens.”
D.R.—“Let’s talk about your views on education.”
Q.U.A.C.K.—“Well, Don, I believe in this country we are currently barking up the wrong tree. For instance, you folks in the media make a big deal about our students’ lack of knowledge about history and geography and such like. What does it really matter if some of our students don’t know the capital of Chicago? You can always look that up. Also the current administration is making a big deal about “No child should be left behind.” Balderdash! Of course children should be left behind. I will cite one well-known example. Remember the popular movie, Home Alone?” Little Kevin was left behind when the rest of his family went to Paris, France, without him. His mother was almost frantic when she arrived in Paris and discovered that Kevin was left behind. She started running around trying to explain to the French officials that she had to get back home because her young son was (here she consulted her English/French dictionary) “gauche derriere.” But what about young Kevin? He learned resourcefulness, self-reliance, and single handedly stopped a local crime wave. There is much to be said for leaving children behind.”
D.R.—“That is pretty profound thinking. I know I had never thought about it just that way. I would like to talk to you about health care, but we are out of time and space. May I call you next week and discuss this and other issues?”
Q.U.A.C.K.—“ By all means. I’ll look forward to it.”

*President Bush the 1st.

** According to Mr. Crow this is a very powerful and very evil agency of the U.S. Government that intends to take over and run the world under The New World Order.